2009年2月8日 星期日

校車上的欺凌事件

校車上的欺凌事件



星期五晚上臨睡前,我如常叫JJ寫「我的心情日記」。這個本來是「蕊展計畫」的一份功課,主要是讓孩子簡單地說說自己當天的心情(喜、怒、哀、驚),由家長協助紀錄。但因JJ很喜歡,還自己加上圖畫和簡單的文字,我就把它變成常規活動,好讓她能習慣報告當天的情況。

平時她都很快寫上「開心」,然後再畫圖畫;如果有點不高興,她也會加上附註。可是這一天她遲遲不肯動筆,非常猶豫。最初我還以為她累了,建議替她記錄,但她堅持要自己寫,卻又磨蹭了一陣。我這才察覺孩子有心事,連忙問她今天是否「不開心」。JJ終於告訴我:當天早上在校車裡,她被同車另一所國際學校的一群初中學生嘲笑,先是說她 “dirty” ,看見她氣急,又起鬨說她就快要哭了。JJ說她很不開心,她不喜歡人家這樣說她,而且不止一次了。我問她有否告訴校車保母,保母有沒有處理。她說有,保母也警戒那些中學生不要再鬧,但她仍然不開心。

其實,這個學年開始由於原來的校車改了路線,SSJJ上學時只能跟別校中學生同車,中學生下車後校車才送SSJJ去學校。我們一看見那些teenagers已經有些擔心,只得拜託司機保母多照顧兩個孩子。可是問題還是發生了。SS不理解人家的嘲笑,他也無所謂;但JJ很敏感,這些對她的情緒會有很壞的影響。

我只好提醒JJ在「蕊展計畫」裡學過:應付嘲笑的方法可以是「不理會」他們,或者告訴校車保母。另一方面,我們也要想方法阻止情況惡化。我曾想過上校車警告那些中學生,但是外子提醒我:對於十幾歲的少年人,我們若這樣做,只怕他們私底下有更多的花招欺負SSJJ,而我們的兩個孩子又不懂得保護自己!

我也明白孩子越成長,需要面對這類的情況會越多,如何避免孩子被欺凌真讓我們費煞思量。唯有盡快教曉孩子們保護自己,但這對於社交能力弱的自閉兒/亞氏保加症患兒來說,真是一大難題呀!

14 則留言:

  1. I think we can mention to that teenage group regarding JJ and SS, a special needs student. Hopefully they will understand the situation!!!!( The bus driver or the attendent can explain to them, plus they have to deal with it right away!!)
    Now a day, both side have to be taught about bullying!!!! Offenc and Defence!!!!
    [版主回覆02/09/2009 13:32:00]We didn't tell those teenagers about JJ and SS' problems, I guess they have already found that from JJ & SS' behavior, and so tried to make fun of  JJ (perhaps SS as well).
    Today when they got up to the bus, JJ was okay as I tried hard to encourage her to ignore the teasing. I prayed with her every night about that, hoped that she will feel better. However, SS was a bit hesitate to get up to the bus. He did get up finally. Then I decided to "warn" the boy sitting at the front of JJ (according to JJ, the boy initiated the teasing). I knocked the window and tell him seriously that he shouldn't make fun of JJ. He denied for sure. But I could see JJ's smiling face afterward.
    Anyway, even if we can't stop this kind of teasing/ bullying, at least we have to show support to our kids.

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  2. Yes, that's our biggest challenge! When they get to Secondary school, those teasing and bullying are inevitable, I am very worried too.
    [版主回覆02/09/2009 13:33:00]yes, that's the biggest challenge in the secondary school.

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  3. There is a boy bullying my son too, both in school and school bus. W.H started to defend by shouting at him and fight against him. What' more, W.H was selected to be the 'school bus prefect' and he could 宅名 of this naughty boy. Actually it's not of much use but that made him feel better.
    [版主回覆02/09/2009 13:35:00]That's a good arrangement. And it's good that W.H konws how to defense.

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  4. My impression of teenagers studying in International School (Secondary) are very naughty.  They won't listen to their teachers, parents, ... how can they listen to u la
     
    [版主回覆02/09/2009 13:36:00]I don't think they will listen to us either.
    Today when JJ & SS got up to the bus, JJ was okay as I tried hard to encourage her to ignore the teasing. I prayed with her every night about that, hoped that she will feel better. However, SS was a bit hesitate to get up to the bus. He did get up finally. Then I decided to "warn" the boy sitting at the front of JJ (according to JJ, the boy initiated the teasing). I knocked the window and tell him seriously that he shouldn't make fun of JJ. He denied for sure. But I could see JJ's smiling face afterward.
    Anyway, even if we can't stop this kind of teasing/ bullying, at least we have to show support to our kids.

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  5. 真叫人擔心啊! 我都好擔心將來Johnson會遇到類似的事情,他肯定會跟這些孩子打起來。 唯有教JJ不要理會那些壞孩子,如果那些孩子變本加利,大人就要出面跟他們講理了,最壞的打算就是換校車。
     
    ”心情日記“我覺得是很好的方法,Johnson的ST也有要求他做,並回校與另一個IP位小朋友互相分享感受,不過目前Johnson報告事件比較零碎,他講的事件有真有假,或者時間上有誤差,我很多時候也摸不著頭腦。另外,Johnson比較喜歡講自己受表揚、高興的事,不愉快的事情不會主動提,如果我提起,他會避開甚至有少少情緒失控,我還不太懂處理、應變。
    [版主回覆02/09/2009 13:45:00]我們住得離學校比較遠, 我和外子又要工作, 孩子只能坐校車上學。不過, 校車公司知道我們孩子的問題, 如果再有欺凌事件, 我們也會要求他們處理。
    JJ也是只喜歡說高興的事,所以她把這件事說出來我覺得事態頗嚴重。
    ST要求Johnson做日記, 應該是口頭覆述事件經過的練習, 所以重點不妨先放在報告時的流暢和細節, 他若只想說開心的事也不要緊的。

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  6. "我也明白孩子越成長,需要面對這類的情況會越多,如何避免孩子被欺凌真讓我們費煞思量。唯有盡快教曉孩子們保護自己,但這對於社交能力弱的自閉兒 / 亞氏保加症患兒來說,真是一大難題呀!"
    唉...呢個都係令0地頭痛...最慘係佢0地唔太識反抗...反而SS情況冇咁担心...有時唔理解仲好...當其他人嗡風...都要唸定點裝備佢0地...辛苦哂媽媽...
     
    [版主回覆02/09/2009 13:47:00]是呀, SS不明白人情世故,所以也比較快樂。但我們也要教曉他保護自己。

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  7. (Empty)
    [版主回覆02/09/2009 13:56:00]謝謝你呀! 也祝你一家節日快樂!

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  8. 大家都遇到類似的情況,教曉孩子怎樣保護自己是我們的責任,可是做起來卻一點也不容易,這些都是他們難於理解和缺乏的!
    [版主回覆02/09/2009 13:51:00]真不容易呀!
     

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  9. 我仲唸到好鬼長遠, 驚佢第時比女仔欺騙...你知啦, 佢0地比較單純
    但我老公竟然話, 佢識到女仔先算啦...都唔知好嬲定好笑
    大家一齊努力...不過, 你估同佢0地講會唔會明0既呢...因為我發覺有時同我個仔講, 咁樣危險0架...佢好似唔多明咁...
    [版主回覆02/11/2009 17:33:00]我也不敢想得這麼遠!
    SS和JJ年齡大些, 可以理解什麼是危險。你的孩子年幼, 但就算不理解也要讓他變成習慣。

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  10. 其實我也很擔心Sunny, 他是一個比較單純的孩子, 相信遇到類似事情, 也不懂怎樣反抗;而且對於別人的說話、態度的含意也難以真正理解, 而他描述事情的表達能力也較弱;所以他更不會主動提出不開心的事情。
    我現在可以做的就是主動引導和鼓勵他, 讓他多講有關在學校的事, 或在參與一些活動後, 教他分享感受和用合適當的字詞表達自己的心情, 無論開心或不開心, 讓我能多了解。
    在孩子的成長路上, 必定會遇到更多這些情況, 需要去面對。做媽媽的, 唯有盡量教他們怎樣保護自己, 在他們身邊協助, 但做起來真的不容易。
    [版主回覆02/11/2009 17:31:00]你的做法很對呀!

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  11. Yeah. Mom did what you supposed to do!!!
    [版主回覆02/11/2009 17:29:00]thanks! just do what I can do.

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  12. Actually , I want him to learn Kung Fu to protect himself but he doesn't like.
    [版主回覆02/11/2009 17:29:00]that's a good idea! but their coordination is weak, it's not easy to learn Kung Fu.

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  13. JJ和Rachael一樣是很敏感的小孩, 遇到欺凌她們會反抗,保護自己的, 但是否用一些別人能接受的方法或又是挑起另外一些問題又是一個難題
    我們最擔心是遇到別人挑釁時她們不會向師長求助, 反而自己去解決去反擊, 事後卻未能清晰講出前因後果,總之就是有理說不清的情況下, 受到誤解和責罰最終可能是我們的孩子
    [版主回覆02/11/2009 17:28:00]是呀! JJ報告事件的能力還是弱了些。而且我更怕的是JJ誤會別人。

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  14. Don't need to worry too much. School life is the best place for them to learn, to fail, to succeed, to adapt and to adjust!!!!( parents and teachers are the facilitator). Hopefully, they would be ready once they finished the high school.
    [版主回覆02/11/2009 17:23:00]"Hopefully, they would be ready once they finished the high school."
    Really hope so!

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