好朋友
SS從來沒有告訴我們誰是他的好朋友，如果問他，他就乾脆答: “I don’t know.” 但我們這幾年從老師口中知道：班上有幾個女同學特別照顧他。有時SS也會提起她們的名字，其中最可親的一位年年邀請SS去她的生日會。去年我們也邀請過兩位女同學來我們家玩，可是SS不懂得招呼人家，我們要做許多安排，氣氛才不至於太尷尬。今年其中一位因為搬家轉了校，而且一般女孩子要比同齡的男孩子早熟，SS各方面更弱，我們看到他跟那些女同學的距離越來越大了，所以也不敢再請她們來玩。ABA老師建議我們找男同學來家裡跟SS玩，可是男孩子大多沒有耐性，SS又不擅於球類運動，真不知誰會願意來，就算有人肯來，不知安排什麼活動好，真讓我們頭痛。
JJ倒是能告訴我誰是朋友。幼稚園時期她提到幾個同學的名字，說是她的好朋友，我們還以為她跟｢好朋友｣有許多交流，誰知老師說她只是在這幾個同學旁邊玩，而人家不抗拒她。去年上了小學，老師安排了班上兩位很有愛心的同學照顧她，於是她就說這兩位同學是她的好朋友。今年我們再問她同學裡誰是她的 “best friend” 時，她就說： “Everyone is my best friend.”還要加一句： “I love everyone in the world except strangers.” 如此博愛，我也不知道她是否理解什麼是 “best friend” 了。
上個學期，JJ的班級聖誕表演的其中一首歌曲是 “That’s what friends are for”，我還特別跟她講解歌詞。演出那天 JJ開始時有點恊場，但她其中一位好同學一直緊緊地摟著她，整場提點、幫助她，看得我們非常感動――這真是好朋友啊！
剛過去的星期天，這位女同學開生日會，邀請了JJ去玩，我們在會場上更加見識到這位同學如何懂事。只見剛滿七歲、漂亮得像洋娃娃的她滿場奔跑，細心地招呼每一位小來賓，甚至是同學們年幼的弟妹，十分難得。JJ最初不敢加入玩遊戲，她就多番鼓勵。到最後抽獎活動時(其實是生日會回禮包)，JJ看見一個個同學都拿到獎品，在旁邊叫嚷說自己沒有，我只好不斷安撫請她耐心等候。小主人家看見JJ沒有獎品，幾乎比JJ還急，每次抽名字，都緊張地叫著：JJ、JJ，希望會抽中她。JJ終於被抽中拿了最大的獎品時，她更高興地歡呼。
星期一晚上，JJ在｢我的心情日記｣上用中文寫當天的心情是｢失望：因為我的好朋友病了｣。原來這位同學生病沒有上學，看見JJ的落寞神情，我想她終於明白什麼是 “best friend” 吧。
That's What Friends Are For
And I never thought I'd feel this way
And as far as I'm concerned
I'm glad I got the chance to say
That I do believe I love you
And if I should ever go away
Well then close your eyes and try
To feel the way we do today
And then if you can remember
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
Well you came and opened me
And now there's so much more I see
And so by the way I thank you
And then for the times when we're apart
Well then close your eyes and know
These words are coming from my hearts
And then if you can remember
Keep smiling, keep shining
Knowing you can always count on me, for sure
That's what friends are for
In good times and bad times
I'll be on your side forever more
That's what friends are for
I remember in my primary school life, classmates are so jealous or concerns of who didn't put her at the first best friend it created some conflicts , so "Everyone is my best friend." is fine
回覆刪除[版主回覆02/23/2009 13:56:00](Empty)
Ask JJ to prepare a "Get Well" card and give to her friend la ! Not to hide her hearted feeling and just express it at home, show it out
回覆刪除[版主回覆02/23/2009 13:56:00]Yes, she did. She designed a beautiful card for her classmates.
TT's idea is excellent!!
回覆刪除I am not sure, can ask the school counseller/social worker to provide a big brother(higher grade) student for SS as a mentor/friend????
[版主回覆02/23/2009 13:55:00]Yes, that's a good idea! Hope that we can identify a caring boy who would like to be mentor of SS. But the problem is that SS doesn't play with boys at all , as he always surrounded by girls.
真的為JJ高興, 她有一位這樣接立她, 關心她的同學 , 要知道有些事情就是我們做父母如何協助,努力經營也是無法控制結果的, 希望我們的孩子隨著年歲的長大, 會懂得維繫這些珍貴的友情! Rachael跟JJ一樣的博愛, 我也常常懷疑她是否明白"朋友"的定誼
回覆刪除[版主回覆02/23/2009 13:52:00]JJ和Rachael一樣都渴望友愛，但我也覺得她們最困難的地方是不懂得如何維繫友情。老實說如果做朋友，JJ真是不可愛，脾氣差、自我中心，做事行動都不顧及人家的感受，若非有像天使般的同學接納她，我們都不知如何替她找朋友。
願意接納和用愛心照顧、幫助她, 相信JJ是感受到那種親切和關心, 讓她覺得有一份很安全的感覺。
回覆刪除從JJ 日記裡所寫的, 以及她的反應, 相信她是理解和知道誰是好朋友。
或者她未必真正完全明白, 但最重要的, 就是父母盡量從旁教導和協助, 這已是很足夠了。
[版主回覆02/23/2009 13:44:00]是的，我相信JJ可以感受到那種親切、安全感。
JJ明白誰是她的好朋友，從日記裏就充份表露無遺，真為她感到高興！
回覆刪除[版主回覆02/23/2009 13:40:00]是呀，我們都覺得是很大的進步!
JJ真幸福....有一個對佢咁好的朋友!
回覆刪除[版主回覆02/23/2009 13:39:00]她的朋友對每一位同學都很好，一個六七歲的孩子社交上那麼成熟，十分難得!
My son was very lucky, when he was in P.1, his school assigned a P.6 big brother to him, that boy( his name is R) is an angel, he took very good care of my son. That is not the end of the story.
回覆刪除When my son in P.2, R has gone to Secondary school. At the first parents meeting with my son's P.2 teacher, she said she found one thing rather strange happening to my son, two P.5 boys were taking very good care of my son, they put him under their wings, she said she has never seen boys at that age can be so affectionate to another child.
That Christmas, one of that 2 boys invited my son to go to his party, I took my son along and met that 2 boys, I was sure I have never met them before, but one of them(not the host) looked extremely familiar, so I asked him if I have met him before, he smiled and said, ha ha, I am the little brother of R, R was very worried that nobody is going to take care of your son after he's left, so he asked me and my best friend to look after your son, now your son and us are good friends!
I was very touched and almost in tears, you don't know how grateful I was to R, his brother and friend and most of all, R's parents, they must have done a great job to raise children like that!
[版主回覆02/23/2009 13:36:00]I'm moved by your son's schoolmates especially they are boys! It's not easy to find such caring boys. I hope we can find a mentor for SS, but he doesn't play with boys at all.
pamam,
回覆刪除看到您的留言, 我也很感動!
對於我們的孩子, 我不期望他們相識滿天下, 只願在學校裏有一個真心對他們好, 在身邊支持, 我就很安心了.
The kids pamam & sjmama described are like angels. So moving
回覆刪除[版主回覆02/23/2009 13:25:00]Yes, they are angels!
JJ和Rachael雖然是脾氣差, 自我中心(別人還用自私來形容), 但有一樣東西很難能可貴就是"坦率", 沒有機心, 我相信她們長大後好友不會多, 但知心的一個就夠.
回覆刪除[版主回覆02/24/2009 14:06:00]真的，知心的好朋友有一個已經很好了。
"坦率、 沒有機心"在我們成年人社會的確是可貴，只是小朋友們不一定喜歡呢。
“小主人家看見 JJ 沒有獎品，幾乎比 JJ 還急，每次抽名字，都緊張地叫著： JJ 、 JJ ，希望會抽中她。 JJ 終於被抽中拿了最大的獎品時，她更高興地歡呼。”========= 讓人很感動的畫面，這個小女孩真是個小天使。
回覆刪除Johnson現在的好朋友是我好朋友的女兒及老師安排的小組長，到了小學我都很愁帳，而且聽講每個年級都會從新分班，又要重新適應。
[版主回覆02/24/2009 14:18:00]我當時也很感動呢。
Johnson有你好朋友的女兒做朋友其實更好，雖然不是同校，但你們可以安排活動，讓兩個小朋友多些一起玩。我們有時想邀請SS和JJ的同學來玩，也怕人家的父母會介意。