校車上的欺凌事件(續篇)
上星期五小女JJ告訴我：她被校車上的另一所學校的中學生嘲笑，使她很不開心。我們除了教JJ如何面對這些嘲笑，星期一我也｢警告｣了坐在她前面的男生，JJ似乎感到好一點。
不過，昨晚校車保母打電話來，卻告訴我們另一個版本。她說因為SS最近在車上經常自言自語，吵著那些中學生睡覺，跟他說他又不聽，激惱了中學生，那些嘲笑其實是衝著SS而來，可是SS不理會，只沉醉在自己的世界裡。保母希望我們能跟SS說請他安靜點，而JJ在車上並無異樣，只是這兩天回到學校下車後不肯進入校門，要再三催促她後，她才掩著耳朵跑進去。
不知道保母所說的是否事實的全部，也許是敏感的JJ錯以為中學生是針對她。但上星期五我反覆問JJ時，她都能把中學生嘲笑她的話、情境描述出來。我也曾問她中學生有沒有嘲笑SS，她卻說沒有。我們估計那些中學生確實曾嘲笑SS，但JJ不想提及，又或者她誤會了。
無論怎樣，問題還是要處理。昨天晚上外子提醒SS在車上要像在學校周會上那麼安靜，SS滿口答應；可是今早再跟他說時，他卻顯得很不高興，更哭了起來。外子後來也上了校車，請同車的中學生做為｢成長的人｣，對年幼又有特殊需要的SS和JJ多多容忍和包涵。雖然不曉得那些少年中有幾個肯聽我們說，做為父母，我們也只得盡一切能力保護孩子們。
SJbaba 做得很好，不溫不火的，相信他誠懇地話語那些頑皮的孩子聼了應該有所覺得内疚。那些中學生也應該有做人最基本的同理心，人與人之間包容、友愛，他們也應該明白。
回覆刪除Yes, sure did what we could do!!! Hope it will be a history soon!!!
回覆刪除祝這事能圓滿解決，大家都能每天開心上學！家長又不需再為此事煩惱！
回覆刪除[版主回覆02/13/2009 13:42:00]謝謝!
Siu Ming用誠懇的態度向那群中學生解釋SS&JJ的情況, 相信他們都會明白的, 至少應該不會變本加厲, 我好同意Daisy所說大部分的人都有基本的同理心, 期望這件事會盡快解決, 而SS, JJ也從中得到寶貴的體驗
回覆刪除My son has been using school bus sevice too, over the years, there were quite a lot of bullying and teasing incidents, my son is the over-reacted type, so other children likes to make fun of him a lot, I found the bus mom's competence and attitude is most important, a good bus mom would know how to handle different children and make necessary arrangement. I think it's good that Siu Ming has stepped up for SS and JJ!
回覆刪除[版主回覆02/13/2009 13:41:00]I also think that a good bus mom is very important. SS has never encounter such kind of incidents before, because he took the school bus with kids from his school. The other kids know well about him, and the bus lady was very good. She always reported to us about their performance in the bus.
我跟他們說時，車上的大朋友都很認真留心，有幾個年長一點的很專注的點頭回應，態度不錯，很懂事啊！似乎只是有一兩個頑皮多咀一點的，我想是初中吧！其實，他們都在成長啊...我時常想，這其實是個雙向的學習過程，我們不怕向別人說明孩子的情況和需要，同時也教導自己的孩子合適的行為。
回覆刪除這事暫時處理了。
請參考以下網址, 有沒有試過
回覆刪除http://www.potential-develop.com/
[版主回覆02/13/2009 13:37:00]我們沒有用過這個服務。
不過, 如果有人宣稱自己在這麼多知識領域都有研究心得,他大概可以拿諾貝爾獎了。
對於任何宣稱可以治療自閉症新的知識/服務，我們都抱 開放但審慎的態度 ，因為我們的資源很有限，既不想浪費，也不願讓孩子們當｢白老鼠｣。
所以如果有新的服務，我們一定會了解清楚:
1.訓練/治療的目標, 過程;
2.同類治療以往的果效;
3.家長的知情權有沒有受重視;
4.與同類服務的收費比較
供你參考。
孩子開始大，會介意別人的說話，要慢慢教導和解釋是需要好多時間，慢慢來吧！
回覆刪除[版主回覆02/13/2009 13:22:00]所以這幾天都一直跟兩個孩子解釋，但願他們能接受。
經過解釋後, 相信車上那些中學生是會明白的。 這件事確實讓他們在成長的路上, 上了寶貴的一課, 學習接納、包容社會上有特別需要的人。
回覆刪除[版主回覆02/13/2009 13:20:00]希望他們真的會明白!
Siu Ming , you are a model father, good job It's nice to share your experience here.
回覆刪除SJbaba做得相當好，教育從來都是雙方面的，除了保護和教導孩子們，這次的經驗也會令中學生們有所得著，絕對是雙嬴的！
回覆刪除我兒也有同樣問題，在校車或學校還能够控制和掌握，但自行外出和放學時，面對的問題便大得多。一切只能從兒子的口中覆述，再分析和教導，每天也是一種挑戰，只能見招拆招，慢慢教導合適的社交行為好了！
[版主回覆02/13/2009 13:17:00]himhim能夠自行外出和放學, 你們一定費了不少心血教導他!不知哪天我家的SS能夠單獨外出呢?
Recently, my son always want to wander around alone. especially if we are in a shopping mall, he would ask if he could walk around and meet us later, he even asked if he could take a bus home alone, we said no.
回覆刪除We have had a bad experience before, 2/3 years ago, when we left him at the hotel shop at KK(just for 3 mins), a group of children were playing inside the shop and broke a table-ware, that group of boys fled, so the shop-keeper asked my son to pay for the damage, my son said it wasn't him but we paid anyway, my son was very upset about that incident.
Can't imagine if my son is going out alone and things like that happened, but we have to train him to be independent too, right.....it's a headache!
[版主回覆02/13/2009 13:14:00]Yes, we have to train them to be independent, at the same time we also want to protect them as much as possible. How to balance between these two sides ...not an easy job!
Recently, my son always want to wander around alone. especially if we are in a shopping mall, he would ask if he could walk around and meet us later, he even asked if he could take a bus home alone, we said no.
回覆刪除We have had a bad experience before, 2/3 years ago, when we left him at the hotel shop at KK(just for 3 mins), a group of children were playing inside the shop and broke a table-ware, that group of boys fled, so the shop-keeper asked my son to pay for the damage, my son said it wasn't him but we paid anyway, my son was very upset about that incident.
Can't imagine if my son is going out alone and things like that happened, but we have to train him to be independent too, right.....it's a headache!
...路漫漫而修遠兮，養寶寶而“修身”兮......教養特殊小朋友雖吃力，但多方受益啊！
回覆刪除各位model爸爸、model媽媽，感同身受，共勉之！
中學生大方D,小小事也計較,
回覆刪除[版主回覆02/17/2009 13:30:00]這個年齡的孩子都是很自我的。